Awkward Moments

This is a new and mostly humorous segment of The Gaijin Diaries (alternate title: "Oh Goodness, What Is My Life"). Seeing as my life and I are quite awkward, there will probably be similar posts in the future.
These are all things that have happened the past couple weeks, except the foundation one.

That awkward moment when…

…the buses are late and everything else in Japan is on time.

…there’s an empty seat on the full bus or train, but no one is taking it, perhaps out of politeness although they clearly want to, and you’re too far to take it yourself. (Come on guys, the seat’s going to waste!)

…you realize that when you’ve been telling the cashier at the convenience store that you don’t need a plastic bag, you’ve been saying “mother” (o-fukuro) instead of “bag” (fukuro).

…you’re in Osaka with some peeps, and a group of Americans/Japanese comes up and asks for help on a scavenger hunt, and you help them and another group as well, and you see the first group again, and it turns out the two are mortal enemies. (We have no loyalties!!)

…you suddenly look around on the train back from Osaka and realize you’re inside a women’s-only car—yes, they do exist—and there’s some random dude standing at the far end of the car who just did not get the memo.

…you’re in the store, replacing another of the items that was in your lost makeup bag, and with the shop lady’s help you finally choose the right eye shadow—but she also asks if she can help with foundation while you’re at it. (Yes lady, my skin is not the best, I know, don’t rub it in. I already have some foundation, but don’t wear it all the time. Mind yo’ business!)

…your American professor sometimes says phrases in Japanese that sound really, really American, and you want to laugh, and then one of your classmates actually does.

…you’re half-taking a nap in the tatami room in the new awesome building while your friend is studying, then you realize there is a boy holding up a sign on the other side of the table, and he and some cute friends are interviewing  your friend in Japanese…then realize you woke up with crazy sleep-hair and look totally bewildered. (A wild gaijin appeared! What will you do?)

…you’re at the optional-singing-for-the-heck-of-it part after your chorus practice, and the boys suddenly break into an American spiritual from the slave days in perfect harmony…with Japanese accents. (and you’re stifling laughter and no one will ever know why…)

…you come back on Sunday night from the first chorus bonding/nomihoudai and subsequent karaoke, still a little drunk, and your host parents have been drinking wine and are in good spirits, and ask if you’ve found a boyfriend yet and say they’re looking forward to it and will want to meet him. (Whoa what?) And also when they say don’t worry about coming home late and they’ll only worry if you don’t come home at all, especially the host dad—and especially if you’re with a guy. Or maybe they were encouraging that? Don’t remember. Either way, aaawkward times!

…a Japanese friend asks you about prom at the aforementioned chorus party, and you tell her, and then she asks what you did after. “Uh…go home?” (it wasn’t that kind of a prom… //foreveralone)

…almost everyone is in a group of friends (well, clique really) except you. (//foreveralone again)

…you ask your host dad why your host mom hasn’t seen the thank you card you left for her, and he says she’s on a business trip to Tokyo till tomorrow. You don’t know when she left. (//foreveralone still…)

…you are alone in your homestay some days from when you come home till you go to sleep, and everyone’s Facebook statuses and pictures are of their crazy families and cute pets. (also //foreveralone)

…you get all excited about monthly allowance from the KCJS office, only to find that textbook deductions took out more than half of it.

…some friends in chorus  let you know that the color purple, your favorite, is somewhat of an erotic symbol in Japan. And you’ve been wearing a purple backpack, among other things.

…your throat starts hurting like a mofo the day before your night bus to Tokyo, and it’s Saturday so none of the many local clinics are open. (also an FML)