"Tokyolo?" Er....Nope

This entry was started on the way to Tokyo Station from Narita Airport because I felt the need to passive-aggressively document the ridiculous and somewhat clueless group of 4 college kids in front of me on the train. First piece of gold: “Tokyolo!” (a strange bastardization of Tokyo and YOLO which I would only ever say ironically. I hope for their sakes they were saying it ironically, though something in my heart tells me they weren’t.)

Also, “Whoa, I totally didn’t realize this is a legit train” (referring to it being spacious forward-facing seats instead of subway-style … yeah kids, Japan takes things up a notch.) They were also congratulating themselves for even making it onto the train in the first place (partly due to a communication breakdown where they didn’t realize it was assigned seating). They also were relieved that everything had English written on it…but then realized that might be because it’s the airport. I hope those guys brought their phrasebooks, since they’ll have a hard time finding anyone who can speak fluent English to them…

Next piece of gold: they repeated Shibuya from the list of stops being announced, but said it like “Shi-BOO-yah!” on purpose. And then, “Can someone tell me what ‘buya’ means?” That makes the second time I rolled my eyes and thought kill me now.

Here, why don’t you just have a whole list of selections…

“I also wanna get a samurai sword.” (it’s called a katana)

“I want to bring back a nice pair of chopsticks to show off at a dinner party.”
          “I hope we get lots of Wifi so I can send lots of Snapchats.” (haha, good luck with finding free wifi in Japan!)

“I feel like we’re already Tokyo Drifting!” “Hashtag YOLO Tokyo Drift!”

Apparently they’re on some kind of organized trip, because they were talking about the itinerary and ditching certain tour stuff. That’s good for them because it seems like they don't know a lick of Japanese... But hey, they all ordered Asahi from the drink cart and predicted being hungover on the last day, so they'll probably just be drinking their whole trip away anyway.

Anyway, now back to our regularly scheduled programming. You have to strengthen your resolve before embarking on a 13-hour flight, that’s for sure. And preferably get minimal sleep the night before to force you to fall asleep there…which wasn’t a problem this time since my first flight was at 6 AM and I got about 4 hours of sleep. Also, I’m pretty sure Katy Perry’s “I’m Wide Awake” was written on or inspired by an international overnight flight because good lord, it is near impossible to get any quality shuteye, even after taking melatonin pills. I got less than 2 hours, I think, and the sad part is that’s as good as or better than my track record with flights to or from Japan so far (this is my 7^th). Maybe that’s an economy class thing?

A word to the wise: if you enjoy food, avoid taking Air Canada, unless you will eat almost anything. They seemed to think vegetarian and vegan were the same thing, since my bland meals lacked egg or dairy, but I guess that makes them healthier at least … and they also think that if you are vegetarian, then you have to have quinoa for both your main and side dish. Quinoa everything! I think I’m good on that for a while.

Other than that, both my flights were fine, with a good entertainment selection—I pretty much watched nonstop movies (Last Vegas, Anchorman, Captain Phillips, and Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom. I should have watched them in reverse order so the comedy of the first two would ease the tension from the others. By the way, this may offend you, but I didn’t actually find Anchorman that funny… sorry not sorry).

Time for sleep because those 2 hours just aren't cutting it.